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Monday, May 24, 2010

Destination Guest List

When working on your guest list for a Destination Wedding, you need to remember that you are asking your guests to pay quite a bit of money to see you exchange vows. Sure, they get a vacation out of it, but it may not have a been a place they wanted to go to. In the end, you have to remember that you should only be inviting guests that are very close to you and that you feel comfortable asking this of them. You can not invite people just because you know they will say no, it’s an awkward position to put on friends and family that you aren’t that close to. You can not go into this thinking that everyone wants to easily blow a couple thousand dollars for a weekend to see you get hitched.

A great way to soften the blow of not inviting guests to the destination wedding is to have a low key party a month or so after your return. This local casual party is a great way to not hurt feelings and bring a sigh of relief the guests that wouldn’t be able to attend the destination. Those who simply can’t afford to go will love knowing that they can make it up to you by coming to this celebration.

So let’s narrow down the guest list:
c Family: Only invite family that you talk to on a regular basis or have close relations with. You may have a 1st cousin that you haven’t talked to in a year and a 3rd cousin that you talk to once a month. It’s not based on the degrees of separation, but by the relationship itself. You may also need to have a sincere talk with your parents as well, if you are footing the bill, you have a lot of say about Uncle Frank who you never talk to, if they are footing the bill, then let them be.
c Friends: You may have 400 Facebook friends, are you going to invite them all? Of course not. Invite Friends that you spend time with regularly. You may have friends that you call every once in a while to catch up, but to ask them to take a trip to see you get hitched will be too much. If a friend should ask why they were not invited to the destination wedding, your out is this; “I did not want you to feel obligated to invest so much in our wedding”. Remember, you have the local celebration as well to make them feel included.
c Work Associates/Friends/Bosses: 99% Never! You may spend a lot of time with these people outside of work, social parties, maybe happy hour, or golfing, but this the key – Do you talk about something related to work at least 75% of the time? if so, it’s a no. Also, how much time have they spent with your significant other? You will be on a vacation with this person and your significant other better like and get along with them, that is not the time for introductions.
c Kids: Many couples want an adult only reception and you must consider that kids may have to be an option. Many people do not have the luxury of being able to leave their children for three days for whatever reason, so this is not the time to have “An Adult Reception” or be upset with someone because they can not afford to bring the entire family. This is where you must be flexible.

Good luck! Remember if you have any doubts, shoot me an email:


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